Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Getting Out of My Head
Years ago, I used to have awful, catastrophic dreams all the time, and then one day they stopped. In my dreams I've been electrocuted, radiated, shot, buried in mud-slides, chased by gangs, and trapped inside tall buildings that crumpled to the ground during earthquakes and title-waves. I've been in all kinds of car crashes, busses falling off cliffs, and wars in various periods of time. I've even died twice in my dreams. I used to be afraid to go to sleep at night. But then I decided to face my fears. I said "OK Universe --Bring it on! These are only dreams. I can handle this". And then, they just stopped.
Well, last night I had this awful dream, which was very symbolic. Although it was extreme like the dreams I used to have, it was different. I didn't have the fear. I dreamed the time was after some sort of war or alien invasion. I was a part of a small group of survivors. We were covered in soot, and could only move by night. During the day, beginning around 9am, we had to stay hidden away in these demolished industrial buildings that were very scary. These creatures (I couldn't tell if they were aliens from another planet or the tanks of some other country covered in dirt and slime) would hunt for the remaining survivors by day. Locked away, we would endure these extreme conditions. It was so hot I thought we would be burned to death; no water, no bathroom, no other people. But then when 5 or 6pm hit, the creatures went away, and the group gathered and moved onward to the next location. We kept moving toward freedom, but I was not sure that it truly existed.
I woke up and heard the usual chatter in my head. Mind you, this chatter is not my friend. While I was still in this half-awake state I asked the Universe: "How can I quiet this chatter?" And then I had this thought: Be of service. (of course that's how!) I realized that this dream represented how I feel about my work days. From 9-6 on weekdays, I tend to feel very stressed out trying to fit everything I want to get accomplished into each day. And while I'm doing one task I'm thinking about the next task, which takes me out of enjoying the present moment. I need to come back, and be present! Too much freedom (lack of structure) can feel imprisoning.
With that --I am off to begin my morning ritual. Exercise is a good way of getting out of my head...